Intro (green) text for new characters

Tell Lillu to stop slacking and work those errors out
Koeril
Posts: 1764
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Intro (green) text for new characters

Post#1 » Tue Sep 01, 2009 8:42 am

Should I just make one thread for all the spelling and grammar mistakes I come across rather than "spamming" this forum with each one independently?

Original text:

As the party walked through the great forest of Nektulos, a shout was heard in the distance which sent chills down the spine of every member. They were here - the Frogloks of Chaos had finally spread their vile presence ... and it was too late. In a flash they were upon the group and swiftly overcame. With your last dying breath you prayed for help from the Gods of Norrath ... and darkness overcame ... With a sudden jolt you awaken in a glade, but all is quiet except for the innocent buzz of a beetle or two as it flew by. 'Where am I,' you wonder, 'and how did I end up here?' ...A soft voice beckons you forward and you turn to see Queen Adrianne with her hand extended.

Suggested changes:

As the party walked through the great forest of Nektulos, a shout was heard in the distance which sent chills down the spine of every member. They were here - the Frogloks of Chaos had finally spread their vile presence ... and it was too late. In a flash they were upon the group and swiftly overcame. With your last dying breath you prayed for help from the Gods of Norrath ... and suddenly ... darkness (removed word 'overcame') ... With a sudden jolt you awaken in a glade, but all is quiet except for the innocent buzz of a beetle or two as it flies by. 'Where am I,' you wonder, 'and how did I end up here?' ...A soft voice beckons you forward and you turn to see Queen Adrianne with her hand extended.
Formerly known as:
Jerant the Loremaster - Cleric
Hans Poisondirk - Rogue
<Evolution>

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Lillu
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Re: Intro (green) text for new characters

Post#2 » Tue Sep 01, 2009 12:00 pm

Yes, please. and thank you, fixed. :)

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