The Grammar Police (Quest Dialogue Corrections)

[Shylar]

not a quest but -

phara dar emotes when he changes states and goes "beserk" should be "berserk" !

[Lillu]

thanks, fixed.

[Reid]

Dunno if it was mentioned, but the dwarf in fear for the t6 glove turnin emotes "her eyes" or something to the effect that leads you to believe that he is a she when you complete the quest.
I knew dwarf ladies were bearded, but that one looks male to me

[Lillu]

Good point, but seriously who could tell for sure a dwarfs gender?

[Zaria]

Good point, but seriously who could tell for sure a dwarfs gender?

Look under his skirt. That should help.

[Reid]

Not a quest dialogue, but a dialogue in general

If you try to coh in the vale it says

"Thit spell doesn't work here."

[Lillu]

Fixed, thanks.

[Nerva]

LDoNs
LDoN mob responses could use some love from the Grammar & Spelling Police. From Miragul's Menagerie, Spider Lair variation:



The word is rescue, not "rescuse"



Wrong preposition: you don't shuffle over at, you shuffle over toward. Also, the word is incoherent; with an E, not an A.

Hurling a rock below my feet is impossible unless I'm levitating or jumping. Hurling a rock a few inches away from my feet, however, is perfectly doable regardless of my physical position.

Natimbi/Qinimi
Natimbi is desperately in need of a careful editor to kill the plethora of mangled, run-on sentences in this zone's quest dialogue. Here's an example:

Grina Shellson, Explorer's Badge Quest (my edits are in red)



"Hello again, {PLAYERNAME}. Back for some more duties, I see. It's very much appreciated, you know. Anyway, you are not going to believe the trouble our scouts have gotten themselves into.

Let me explain; Our reports show that there are two clans up on the hillside on the central island. One group we call the Hilltop Bandits, the other we call the Highland Sorcerers. They're not a very nice crowd, if you know what I mean. If they are not up there performing some satanic ritual, then it's your pocketbook and belongings you have to keep your eye on.

Anyway, more to the issue at hand, we sent two of our scouts as ambassadors, on a greeting mission. The hilltop inhabitants didn't think twice before refusing. It seems they are more hostile than we had anticipated, and now our scouts are being held captive."

Some concerns:

• I find the use of "satanic" a bit odd, as the world of Everquest doesn't have a clearly-defined Satan figure, or any deity that holds that particular title. Maybe "profane" or "unholy" would've worked better?
• Grina uses the term "pocketbook", but check-writing is something done in an era of paper currency, and Norrath is still firmly in favor of coinage. Perhaps the term "coinpurse" should've been used instead?
• I feel this entire dialogue is far too long and rambling, compared to most quest dialogue in the game. I could drastically shorten it, but that would require rewriting it entirely.

If you can get me a complete dump of Natimbi's and Qinimi's quest dialogue, I'd be happy to edit it for you.

[Lillu]

Thanks Nerva. Some of these will be fixed.
Off topic. No offense mate, but please try to post a bit "'shorter" way. Your posts are unfortunately 99% of the time tl;dr category. Keep in mind that most of the time, less is more!

A feedback here should look like this:

NPC: a rambling ice brute
ZONE: Miragul ldon themes
TEXT: shuffles over toward you, mumbling incoherent words.", "hurls a rock inches away your feet as a sign of strength!

[Felibar]

NPC: Tristan El'Driz
Zone: Halls of honor
Dialogue: After clicking on [Know] say link. "weilded/weild" should be "Wielded/Wield"

NPC: Elsra
Zone: Hidden Vale
Dialogue: If you would like I can turn of "the his" Aura and .... "The his" should be "his"