I really want to thank everyone here for the detailed feedback and comments. When I get a chance, I think I will try a parallel install of SoF or SoD (depending on what I can find in the attic) and compare it to Titanium myself. Some of the issues reported here would be deal breakers for me (healer bot always OOM, no shrink, clickies greying out spellbar) but it sounds like they can be idiosyncratic, so I will give it a shot and see what results I get.
My biggest concern was whether I might be missing AA options or similar serious gameplay items by using Titanium, and it sounds like the answer is no. (I am at about 900 AA and am staring to buy the 100pt/rank stuff now, so will run out of the useful stuff soon.)
Right now on Titanium I crash to desktop about once every 20 hours or so of gameplay, usually during a fight. Happened twice while tanking Vyemm when I tried to click a potion to give the lone healer a tiny bit of support. I also crash or hang on zoning about one in twenty times that I zone (usually into an instance), but I think that is less client and more about the iproute between me and the server. I do keep all the files up to date, but will try a newer client and see how that works out.
Thank again. My experience on this server at every level has been fantastic, from helpful players to responsive devs. The gameplay has been a blast and we are loving every minute of it thus far.